I help women who have been cheated on, lied to, and told they were lucky to have someone to love them. I help them to find their own self-worth and rediscover joy in knowing they aren’t crazy but are genuine, loving, and creative women!
As they say, “The spouse is the last person to know about an affair”. Beginning to open your eyes to see that your partner is cheating is difficult. It is hard to believe that the person you’re in a relationship with is actually not that loving person you thought they were.
They’ve peppered you with lies, they’ve made jokes at your expense (because they know they’re lying to you and think you’re stupid for believing them so they lose whatever respect they might have had for you), and they’ve accused you – suggesting that you are crazy, stupid, confused or even blame you for what they’ve done!
~~This is crazy making! How could someone, that special someone who says he loves you, possibly treat you like this?
I get it because I’ve been there. I was in a 20-year marriage with a cheater. When my eyes were finally opened, I realized he had been cheating on me since we started dating! I found a bag of mementos from his exploits – locks of hair, cigar ring, phone numbers, etc, hidden away in his studio. Then I started to remember little inconsistencies, read entries in my journal about unexplained visits to his parents, when they said he hadn’t been there, and so forth.
The final straw that opened my eyes, happened when I found out about an affair that had been going on for over a year. In his truck he had a whole folder of romantic tchotchkes – tapes of romantic solo piano music, photos from trips, a receipt for a private mailbox, love letters and cards and receipts to upscale romantic restaurants, and of course, the ubiquitous lock of hair. (Though I haven’t looked at them for a while, I have kept both these boxes of mementos).
I know what it feels like to be told you must be crazy for having what turns out to be normal questions.
Feeling crazy in this type of situation is normal! Getting help and support as you begin the healing process is necessary. Support looks like this:
- Being able to tell you story without judgment
- Recognizing red flags that point to cheating
- Reconnecting with your inner wisdom and intuition
- Regaining a sense of being in your body
- Taking care of yourself and giving yourself space to heal
- Learning techniques to reduce self judgment and self-criticism
Call me, 314-651-8290, if you want to set up an appointment to talk, we can meet at my office, or via phone or video chat.