My Personal Story:
You might wonder what my personal story is, why is this important to me?
My childhood experiences:
Growing up in a dysfunctional family was my normal. Due to isolation and frequent moves, I didn’t know how this “normal” was affecting me. I didn’t know that it was unkind and mean-spirited to be treated the way I was. My parents and siblings ridiculed me, I was the scapegoat. I had several symptoms of childhood trauma, some of which still haunt me.
When I got pregnant as a 20 y/o, I married the father. I was so afraid of having a baby because my parents repeatedly said – the worst thing they ever did was to have children. As my son got a little older, I realized I had to figure out how not to be an abusive parent myself. I was tempted to use the same tactics that had been used on me.
It felt normal to yell and spank – though in my family spanking was not a simple smack on the bottom, it included closed fist slams on the arms and anywhere else that was exposed, kicks, whippings, and more. It included being ridiculed, shamed, and made to feel inadequate. (Because of the emotional abuse, I still hate the phrase “stupid idiot” due to the snarl with which my father would call us this).
I was determined not to go down this road with my children. Luckily I got support and did not abuse my children.
After many years I realized my husband was/is abusive, verbally, physically, and sexually. He said things to hurt me and make me feel inadequate. He cheated on me, intimidated me, and manipulated me into sex. If I didn’t comply I was a “cold fish”! He called me a ‘ditsy blond’ in front of our friends and family. They learned it was normal to treat me like this. His family and our friends from church got in the act, saying things to ridicule and shun me.
I spent my young adulthood wallowing in shame and embarrassment. Every night I cried. It was the worst time of my life.
Finally escaping the marriage, his family, and church, and I moved to New Mexico. Then I began my healing journey. Going back to school, I trained in mental health counseling, got my license, and began practicing as a therapist – you can read about my jobs and credentials below.
My healing began in earnest when during my studies to complete my degree, I got my own counseling. My therapist, I love her to the moon and back, has been the major inspiration to me. She started my healing and continues to be a support to me.
This is why I do what I do.
I want to pass this healing and inspiration on to you!
We are all on a healing journey and I hope my personal story can bring some insight, support, trust, and love into your life, I would feel honored.
“Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back.” Plato
My professional background:
My name is Erica May Randolph BM MA LPCC NCC DCC
I hold a current counseling license in:
- New Mexico, LPCC #0155861, issue date: 12/24/2012 expires: 9/30/2018
- Missouri LPC #2014022267, issued: 7/1/2014, expires: 6/2017
- National Certified Counselor, NCC #248349, issue: 6/10/2014, expires: 8/31/2019
- Certified Circle of Security teacher, Early Intervention for Parents and Children
- Certificates in the Bonny Method of Guided Imagery and Music Therapy, BMGIM-T
- Completed the Distance Counseling, DCC, 1/31/2017
- NPI #1205169000
I graduated from WNMU on Dec 12, 2008 with an MA in Counseling.
HPSO N 0642096257-8 policy period: 06/14/17 to 06/14/18
See my licenses, degree, and certificates here
How I help:
I help women who felt like they were an unloved daughter and have been taken advantage of by a narcissistic, hurtful parent and often experience other relationship difficulties with narcissistic or manipulative friends or partners. My clients learn to regain a sense of who they really are, to throw off limitations, to learn to love and accept themselves just as they are.
Clients come to me who want to overcome the pain and frustration that comes from growing up in a dysfunctional family. Oftentimes the experience of growing up in a family like this leads to unexplained problems with trust, difficulty having deep relationships, and finding your own voice or purpose.
Symptoms women feel as a result of dysfunctional relationships include depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, dissociation, poor impulse control, and PTSD. You want to find ways to rebuild your life after experiencing relationship difficulties, family of origin issues, domestic violence and verbal abuse.
I help women who have been cheated on, lied to, and told they were lucky to have someone to love them. Through client centered therapy, I help them to find their own self-worth and rediscover joy in knowing they aren’t crazy but are genuine, loving, and creative women!
I also help parents who deeply want to improve and heal relationships with their children. Using Circle of Security curriculum, I teach parents how to “be with” their child(ren). Parents report a deeper sense of connection with their children after going through this program.
Currently (4/2016 – 2/2017) I was the Clinical Director at Valencia Shelter Services in Los Lunas, NM. This is a shelter for women and children who have experienced domestic violence, sexual assault, and child abuse. valenciashelterservices.org
While in Missouri for two years, I was in private practice. For three years, before moving to Missouri, I held the counseling position at the women’s shelter, El Refugio, Inc. in Silver City, New Mexico, www.eridv.org.
Before working at El Refugio, I worked as a family and play therapist at Sierra Community Counseling Center. While finishing my degree, I held the internship as a therapist with children and their parents utilizing Play Therapy at the Child Development Center at WNMU. I began my work as a therapist by interning at Kokopelli, IOP, an intensive drug and alcohol outpatient facility.
Holistic healing modalities:
|I have studied and become certified in various methods of healing living in the Gila Wilderness in Silver City, New Mexico, meeting and learning from teachers and mentors who teach about herbs, about healing methods such as Reiki, Guided Imagery and Music Therapy, the Chakra system, as well as receiving my MA in Counseling. (see my About page)|
|Wandering through the wilderness, playing my flute, accompanied by my dog Baby, and living on the edge of civilization has brought about transformation in my life that I wish to share with you.|
My therapy goals:
As a therapist I address symptoms of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, dissociation, poor impulse control, PTSD, and how to rebuild your life after experiencing relationship difficulties, developmental issues, psychological trauma, which can be a result of dysfunctional or abusive family dynamics, and/or due to experiences of domestic violence, abuse, sexual assault, and the cycle of power and control.
My goal is to facilitate individuals to access personal resiliency and integration through healing processes. My clients report finding the ability to thrive, an inner sense of belief in oneself, and how to live more fully utilizing their gifts and creativity. They manifest who they are as they address symptoms using the Integrative Counseling Therapy treatment methods I have developed while working as a therapist.
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My interests include playing jazz flute, I received my BM in Flute Performance/Jazz Studies at Webster University, St. Louis, MO.
For more information about my music go to www.erikamaymusic.com